There I was sitting next to my friend last night waiting for the 2012 Senior Class All Night Party meeting to start, we had driven together hoping to keep each other from over booking ourselves and hoping that we could choose some things to do that we could do together. Misery loves company, so we figured in this case the more the merrier! Jokingly my friend had suggested that I bring duct tape to cover her mouth to keep her from over volunteering us and I had laughed, reality is that she should have brought the duct tape along.
As the women who are running the party started to speak, I could feel my blood pressure starting to rise and my excitement for the event began to increase. It felt like each item that was presented as a task they needed volunteers for was meant just for me. The chair people started passing around clipboards for people to sign up for different tasks and I found myself signing my name (and sometimes my husband, Mark's)to each one. I was so excited and happy to have the chance to be involved at the school again. It never even occurred to me that I would not be able to do some of the things I had signed up for. I kept signing and chatting and laughing and talking and signing my name some more, and I left the meeting feeling like I was doing my part to make this year's 2012 Senior All Night Party the best that it could be.
Flash forward to this morning when I realized that one of the things I had committed to do, I cannot do I will not be available on the date. Now I have to call the chairwoman and my friend and tell them I made a mistake and I cannot follow through with my commitment. Suddenly I am faced with the fact that I do not know how to say no. I get so excited to help and be involved that I lose focus of what I can and cannot handle.
Being involved does not mean I have to do everything. Many hands make light work, but I only have two hands, why do I feel I must over compensate and do my share and everyone else's too. I am so eager to please and feel needed that I raise my hand and become the lamb to slaughter. I am involved, I am a good (at least I think so) Mom and I do enough. Why I try so hard is something I will never understand. When Ashleigh graduated from high school, I was the co-Chairperson for her All Night Party and I was happy for any volunteer and the amount they offered was not a concern. I am sure that these chair people are feeling the same way. Someone, anyone offering to help out is one less thing they have to do.
There is really no way I can promise to say no. I know I just do not have it in me and the fact that my excitement had me agree to something I cannot do is just a sign of a very eager mom right? This does not mean I have a problem…does it? I bet all the people that were there signed up for too much too. They probably were laughing and talking with the people they knew and got excited about spending time with their friends and lost sight of what they could handle and instead of saying no, they signed their name. Oh, WAIT…that was me!
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