About 9 years ago a new family moved in next store to us. They had two girls, one the same age as Aly and the other was just about a year old. Right from the start I had myself tied in a knot about the new family. They had a big dog that barked a lot and actually the family was not as quiet as the previous family had been. I was not neighborly towards them, I was just tolerant. I did not try to be pleasant, I was just annoyed.
The divide grew for me when there big barky dog started chasing my cats. This dog would chase the cats through the neighborhood and up trees and I was beside myself with annoyance and anger. There were times when I would scream at the dog in anger and I admit a couple of times I yelled out at my neighbors about their "stupid dog". "Why wasn't their dog on a leash?" "Why did they not control their beast?" "What is the matter with those people?" are all things I said out loud.
A couple of weeks ago we had our Granddog Louis here for a visit and I had Louis and Roxanne out in the backyard for their morning constitutional when Louis decided to head up the backyard hill into the front yard. I was not quick enough to stop the escape and before I knew it Louis and Roxanne were both surrounding my neighbor's dog barking at it and teasing it. Since the dog was on a chain it would lunge at the little yapping dogs and then yelp because it was pulled back. In the middle of all of this I was running around my neighbor's front yard trying to catch the little dogs and exclaiming to my neighbor how sorry I was. My neighbor said " It's OK, they are dogs". Then she chatted pleasantly while I ran around trying to act like I had my mutts under control. As I walked away I had my AH HA moment.
My neighbor had shown me grace. She could have been angry and yelled at me about my dogs bugging her dog, but she was friendly and understanding. She could have said something mean and told me to get out of her yard, but she was kind and thoughtful and encouraging. I walked away thinking "I just learned what grace feels like, I owe her an apology." I have struggled with how to talk to her and when since that day. It is not easy to tell someone you were wrong, especially after nine years.
Yesterday afternoon I stepped out my back door to shake out some rugs and saw my neighbor working in her yard. A voice inside of me said "Go, go tell her now!" I walked across the lawn and made a little small talk and then I said "I need to tell you something" she replied "Oh OK". "I had an AH HA moment a couple of weeks ago when my dogs were bothering your dog Sadie." "You showed me such grace and I realized at that moment how wrong I had been and I want you to know how sorry I am that I behaved that way." I said with tears in my eyes. Once again with grace she replied "Oh, thank you, let's put that behind us and go forward from here." "I'd like that."I said wiping my tears and dripping nose. With that a weight lifted. I walked through my backyard last night with a new freedom. I was not worried about my neighbors hating me or about their dog. I was walking with a lighter load I had released my hatchet and had buried it. The freedom of releasing that anxiety was amazing.
I do not expect to be best friends with my neighbor, but I believe we have a new respect for each other. We can function within our yards without feeling like the other is glaring at us and we can finally have peace and lay the past to rest. Nine years is a long time to carry a hatchet around especially when you were wrong.
No comments:
Post a Comment