Assisting Suicide

Well, as if I have not had enough stress over the last few months, word comes that my Aunt Nina has decided not to eat or get out of bed. Seriously, I am at my wits end. Considering that my wits end is very short these days, it was not too far a jump. After talking with Aunt Nina's aide/companion Anna (God bless her) and Mark, I have decided to take a hard line. I know she is 93 and I also know (since she has told me) that she wants to die. The part that Auntie seems to have a hard time with is that she is not God and she does not get to decide when the time is right.

I know I sound harsh and perhaps unfeeling, but here is the thing. She is living in an assisted living community, if you decide to lie in bed and not eat, then it becomes an assisted dying community. The last time someone tried that they ended up in jail, so I am pretty sure that where she lives is not called Kevorkian village and they will not appreciate assisting her in suicide. I have told Anna and Mark that if this does not stop by Monday, I will be moving Aunt Nina back to the nursing home and that is where she will stay. This whole thing is ridiculous. I am not feeling sorry for her at all.

Before you start thinking I am a heartless beast, you should understand that in spite of the fact that my Aunt can be one step over crazy sometimes, she is family and I love her. I have been there for her when her husband Uncle Ted died and Mark and I both have been unfailing companions since her only child Dana passed away. Nina has no idea the challenges this situation has added to our lives, and we would never ever tell her. She needed us and we were there. My only hope has always been that if I needed someone later in my life that someone would be there for me as well.

At 93 Aunt Nina is not going to change, but I have to find a way to help her now and keep her dignity in tacked. My only option will be to move her back to the nursing home so that they can monitor her and make sure that if she is determined to die that it is a comfortable passing. She will not like it and I will be on her very long list of people that have made her mad, but I really do not care anymore. She has a do not resuscitate order in place, so my guess is, it is her plan to take herself down so low that we legally cannot bring her back. How sad is that?

Watching the people at the community Aunt Nina lives in, I see people who choose to participate in the activity's there and make the most of each day. My Aunt chooses to sit in her room and sit in the lobby and not do anything but complain. Not surprising that she eats alone and has no relationships with anyone there. My Aunt has taken on the task of defying God's plan for her and something tells me this is a really bad decision. I hope that in the next few days we can get this situation under control. My sympathy is waning and my patience is leaving with it.