Long Story

My great Aunt called me yesterday afternoon. I use the word great so that you know where she sits in my genealogical line, not as a term of endearment. You see, she called to tell me she no longer wants her aide. Her words were, "She never called and she never showed up yesterday, she does nothing for me, I am very independent and do not need her any longer." The first thing I thought was… "Here we go again, another make somebody the bad guy so that you can get rid of them routine!"

Honestly, I told Mark last night that I could see this freight train coming on Tuesday when her aide had called me to let me know that her best friend had passed away and she would be attending the funeral on Wednesday. She just wanted to make sure I knew that she would not be working that day. During her call she also mentioned that her and my Aunt had words on Monday, because my Aunt had made some comments on Martin Luther King Day that she found offensive. I love my Aunt's aide Anna. She is 78 years old and she takes no guff from my Aunt. On Monday she drew a line in the sand. Enough was enough with my Aunt's rude comments and she told her so.

On Tuesday when Anna arrived for work, my charming Aunt refused to talk to her. Anna tells me during our call that she finally gave up and went and sat at a different table and worked on a word puzzle. Later during her visit she told my aunt that she would be gone for her friend's funeral on Wednesday and if she could she would try to stop by after and see her. At this point in my call with Anna, I could hear warning bells going off. I know how this 93 year old pot stirrer works and I knew it was just a matter of time before the bed pan hit the fan.

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon and you can hear the clanging of the bed pan as it slammed into the fan. My reply to my aunt as she continued to tell me to terminate Anna was "We can't do that that is inappropriate. She was at a funeral" My aunt kept telling me how she did not care, she was done with her and she had come in the other day and walked right past her to the puzzle table. "She does nothing for me, I am independent and do not need her help" she yelled into the phone. I replied again "You cannot do that that is not the way you handle these things Aunt Nina! Anna is our arms and legs, Mark and I cannot be there all the time to take you to appointments and make sure that you are having all of your needs met". Her response was "They can take me anywhere I need to go here, I do not need Anna!" I had to explain to her that the community does not supply transportation we have to do that and Anna has been a big help getting her to doctor appointments. "Well, I like how no one will listen to me when it is my money that is paying for this!" Then she hung up and I made calls to the community that she lives at to double check about the transportation and then asked them to explain it to her. I also left a message apologizing to Anna for my Aunt's rudeness and asking her to call me.

Mark and I are in the process of planning to go over to see my Aunt this weekend, while Anna is there so that we can settle this mess. Anna is not going anywhere. I would be happy to cut back her hours a little bit, but again, she is our arms and legs there and we count on her to keep us up to date on how my Aunt is doing. Personally, the whole thing gives me a headache. A friend had been through some trying times with her own mom and she explained it to me this way "once an adult and twice a child". I am hoping that somehow this time with my Aunt is a life lesson that I can carry with me into old age. I really do not want to be such an emotional burden on my family, because it begins to take its toll. I have lost respect for my Aunt and really have no sympathy left for her and her situation. I honestly think she might be getting back in spades what she dished out throughout her life. It's a long story…