The Mirror

This morning I had to look in the mirror and it wasn’t pretty. This morning’s mirror was my daughter, frantic, running late and snapping like a cranky turtle. I was not pleased with her demeanor, but I recognized it and that was harder to take than her attitude. Sadly, she has learned from a professional hostage taker, how to handle her stress. I saw all my moves as I watched her. The sharp tone, the pointing at what others have done (or are doing) that contributes to the frantic state and the flying around the house hoping to shave some time off of the lateness.

Now what do I do. She was trained by a master, she is skilled and talented at this craft and somehow I have to untrain her. This mirror is not reflecting what I want my daughter to be. I was primed and ready to admonish her for always running late and grill her about why she did not plan ahead better and then I stopped myself…I know why. In fairness, some of her tardiness traits are her own. Many are also more teenage traits than anything else, but I could see a lot of myself in my baby girl and I did not like the reflection.

Having this mirror reflecting back at me was a harsh way to wake up, but I was also glad for a glimpse, so that I could use this shot of reality to step back and reevaluate myself. I am the one who has to make the first move here. I have to step up, take a deep slow breath and realize that my need to do everything, over plan and gather as much from life’s buffet as I can, may not be the best way to enjoy life and it is not the way I want my daughter to step into hers.

Sometimes the worst part of reflections is the glare and this morning’s glare was a doozie. There glinting back at me were my own flaws, gently disguised in this pretty young girls face and there was no way to grab them back. I realize now as I sit reflecting on my own flaws that I will have to have this conversation one day soon with my sweet young reflection. I will have to share with her that I need to make some changes and gently and lovingly let her know that sometimes what you see in the mirror is not a true reflection of who you want to be. While the view this morning was not pretty, the reflection definitely taught me a lot.