The Confession

Maybe you will remember that yesterday I shared how I recognized my need to do too much and that I was seeing the same issues bubbling up in my daughter? They say the first step to change is realizing you have a problem and I am face to face with this problem this morning. It is currently 4:41 AM and I am plunking away on my computer because my brain woke me as it began trolling through all the things I want to do today. Since I am determined to keep up with my writing (lucky you) my brain kept reminding me that time was short today so if I wanted to, write, workout, have breakfast, make my daughter a smoothie before school, work on a couple of recipes, clean my bathroom and shower all before I run errands at 10:00 AM my brain wanted me up and making lists.

To be fair some of this impulse to GO GO GO is fueled by the fact that my youngest daughter is in her school play this weekend and my lovely middle daughter is coming home for a short visit to see the show along with some rotating family members and friends that will be rotating in and out of the picture as they come to see Avery’s play. Next Tuesday my oldest daughter will fly in and spend a week with us and my middle daughter will also return so that we can all have Thanksgiving together. This means I need to clean, buy food, buy more food, clean more (not that things are dirty, I am just a freak) and go see the play three times. I will also run to a couple stores…okay, probably at least three, paint some furniture that I want to update (this is one of the items that does not have to be done, but I really want to do…yes I am nuts!) so everything looks just so (AGH) and maybe spend some time with my husband who is heading out of town for work tomorrow morning. Did I mention that I might have a problem?

So as I sit here looking at myself in this mental mirror it reminds me again that what I see in my children that worries me the most, are all things that blend into what look a lot like me. I see it but like all good addicts I have it figured out and I will fix it later when it is more convenient, like after the holidays for example. HEY, don’t judge me; you have your own mirror to look into!

It is time to get moving and start checking off things on my list. I have confessed, and now I must move on. Obviously I cannot complain since I am fully aware of my problem and capable of recognizing it in others and totaling unwilling to do anything about it right now…WOW, that really sounds like an addict doesn’t it? This problem is definitely something I will take a look at after the holidays…if I have time.