Letting the Anxiety Go

There are times in everyone's lives when it feels like there is more happening or more to do then humanly possible. There are phone calls, projects, people we must see, places we must go. As each item adds itself to the list, the tension rises and you begin to wonder if it will all end with you on a gurney at your local hospital for exhaustion or something even worse!

The anxiety that builds during those times is overwhelming and tends to send your mind scrambling. I have found that for me with the anxiety comes a lot of self doubt. My inner voice begins to tell me what I cannot handle and how not so bright I am. My inner voice also always cautions me to stop acting like I am "All that", for one of my fears is to come across like I am better than anyone else. I tend to always down play what others might see as a gift or talent as "no big deal, anyone can do it" or I don't believe a compliment because I figure it is someone trying to make me feel good, or they just plain feel sorry for this person that does not know how bad they are.

So it is not possible to win here is it? You cannot believe you are good at anything, because it will hurt someone else or potentially hurt you. Yet in the middle of all of this I am trying to keep moving my life forward. I do not want to become stuck and live forever the same. It is time to let the anxiety go. Trying to make the right impression and say or do the right thing all the time begins to take you away from whom you really are and who you are meant to be. It is time to let the anxiety go, it is time to be true to who you are and believe that what people think is out of your control.

What is funny is that I know a few friends who are quite shy. At first I thought of them as judgie (made this word up) and mean spirited, because they did not talk to me. Once I got to know them better I realized that they were wonderful people that just played their cards close to their chest. If I can allow these people the opportunity to be who they are and live happily amongst them, why can't I give myself the same break? Does it really matter in the end if everyone does not like me?

Anxiety is a strong pill to swallow and I am ready to let it go. I no longer need to listen to the tapes in my head that play back mean and hurtful things. I am doing the best I can everyday just like everyone else. As long as I keep reminding myself of that I just might make it.