The Yoke

Recently I have been more and more aware of the falling family debris. It feels vitally important that I rescue and save my families memories. The trouble is that my home is not set up for keeping large amounts of family memories. Where do you put memories and family artifacts if you do not have room for them? Mark mentioned to me a while back that my family's need to keep all the heirlooms is actually a yoke and that yoke is weighing me down. I think he is right…please don't tell him I said that!

I stood in the middle of my Aunt Nina's living room on Thursday morning and looked about at her belongings strewn all over the floor and tossed about like they had no value or meaning at all. Everything that had not sold was just tossed hither and yon and it was breaking my heart. I found myself panicked and wanting to save the items that remained. At one point I walked through her kitchen and found her beautiful slips hanging over a banister and it broke my heart. I actually said out loud "If Aunt Nina saw this it would kill her!" The truth is it is killing me, I feel a bit guilty that the sale of her lifelong collections of antiques and dolls did not make the profits that were anticipated. My heart also breaks to think that other then myself no one else cares. My Aunt's Grandsons have made it clear that they only want the money. I kept pondering if I should throw the yoke over my shoulders and carry these family heirlooms home to sit with the heirlooms that I have from my Mom's life. How could I let these pieces end up in a dumpster? This is so heart breaking!

This morning as I was once again contemplating what to do I stumbled across a piece of paper with this quote from writer and artist Ashleigh Brilliant taped to it that I had saved many years ago, "If you never part with the past, how will your life have any room for the future?" I am not sure why I saved that all of these years, but I am very glad that I did. It is a wonderful perspective that I need to focus on. I need to leave room for the future, it is time to let the past and all the weight of its yoke go and enjoy the future with my husband and my children. There is no need to protect and preserve or feel guilt, I have done what I can for my past family and their lives and I need to get on with my own. Today I release the yoke from my shoulders; I am lifting the heavy wood and leather off of me and moving away from the yokes burden. I am making room for the future.