Popped My Cork

After weeks and months of my life being crazy I have become crazy too. Last week I lost it the day we got home from vacation and last night I lost it again. I am tired of being stressed. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of cleaning up other people's lives, my cork has popped.

The stuff that my kids normally do that bug me, is really bugging me now. Mark told me last night that my reaction to things is not in proportion to what is actually happening. I guess that has a lot to do with the fact that my life feels very out of proportion right now. I have gone back into counseling hoping to regain the proper perspective. This is not going to be easy, but I think it is the only way to make sure that I regain my reasoning skills.

 I love my kids, I love my husband and for whatever reason right now they are the bad guys whenever I get overwhelmed. I do not like feeling like this. I feel like I am an uncorked helium balloon whipping through the air crazy and out of control and my family is paying for it. It is not fair, but it is what it is. All I can do is keep reminding myself that I love them and I love me too and that is why I need to talk to someone that is not in the middle of all of this that can look in and see everything more clearly then I can.

 For now I need to patch my relationship with my kids and throw some tape over my cork and make it a better day. It is no fun feeling sad and mad; it takes way to much energy. The things I have going on are not going away any time soon, so I need to get myself in check and not blast off again. The blast does not help any of us it only hurts all of us and reality is this is my problem not theirs. Today, I will be eating some apology pie and stuffing a cork back into my balloon.