Choices

There is a friend of mine that has said for many years, "It's all about choices". This statement has fit many situations throughout the years. Many times I have used this statement on my children and even my husband Mark on occasion. It honestly fits most anything. "I should have done my homework instead of watching TV", "Yep, it's all about choices" I would reply. "I should have gotten gas before the big snow", you guessed it, "It's all about choices". Last night or rather this morning, I was saying "it's all about choices" to me.

Mark and I made plans to play cards with some friends of ours last night. We had not seen these friends in quite some time and we were looking forward to visiting with them. Generally when we get together, we bring snacks to share and our beverage of choice, last night my choice (it's all about choices) was a bottle of wine, a Pinot Noir to be exact. We began our game and laughed and talked our way through three games of Euchre. Throughout the game our host would pour a little wine into my glass and I would sip it, eventually sipping my way through the entire bottle. Here is where the choice part comes in, why did I drink that whole bottle?

This morning I stand before you sad and ashamed, and here is why. I do not remember going to bed, I do not remember Mark undressing me and putting me to bed. I remember none of it and it makes me embarrassed. I wish that I had not had that entire bottle of wine and I know I could have chosen to stop and I didn't. All I can say is that I was swept up in the moments of fun with friends and my hand kept reaching for the glass and raising it to my mouth. At no point did I choose to stop this exercise and today I pay the price.

Not only do I not feel very well physically, emotionally there is this cloud of humiliation and disappointment in myself. There are many things that I choose to do and not do on any given day but yesterday I dropped the ball about making a choice that a mature adult should make. I did not say to myself it is time to stop hoisting the glass and drink water. This is my confession.

It really was a bad choice and it has lasting ramifications that move past it just being a fun night with friends. I do not want to be that person (you know the one), the drunk. I am not normally that person and this lapse in judgment will remain as a constant reminder of a choice that went bad. Fortunately, my family has not looked at me and wagged their finger and said "it's all about choices" today, they must realize this was a huge learning moment for me. In this case the mom is heeding her own advice!