Single Mother



Christmas 2009 when my kids
were still afraid of me.

 I am a single mother for the second week in a row. Mark has been traveling for work and I have been here keeping the home fires burning. I understand that he has to travel, and I understand that we are lucky he is working in this economy, but being here alone with two teenage girls and no sanity back up is a challenge. Here alone with my girls I have grown to love them more and at the same time love my husband more too.

 My girls are busy, vibrant, moody, messy and complex. They are also quick to point out what is fair and not fair and whose turn it is to do any chore that comes up. When Mark is here I can let my guard down a little. I can let some of the day to day nonsense of teenage girls pass, because Mark is here to catch some of the stuff that filters through. With Mark out of town, I am without my wing man and it puts me right on the front line with no foreseeable break. Here I am with no real idea of how to raise these kids, winging it and no one to ask, "What now?" There have been several instances in the last two weeks where I made a parenting judgment call that seemed like someone jumping in for their first swim. I just took a big gulp of air and leaped. It has not been pretty.

Last night my youngest Avery and I got into a verbal tussle over the chore of feeding and taking out our dogs. Aly was not home and I was trying to get some type of dinner prepared and I asked for some back up with feeding and taking out the dogs. "I did it last night" was Avery's response. I bit my tongue, took out the dogs and then asked her to feed them so I could work on dinner. By now I was steaming and mentioned to my daughter that I do things all of the time that "are not my job". I also told her that I am not a huge fan of doing everything and that I could use some help. At this point she said to me, "Mom, you do not need to get this angry, you should have just told me to take the dogs out from the beginning instead of holding it all inside and getting this mad at me".

 Look, I have come at parenting from every angle known to moms and I am still never sure how any turn of events will work out. All I know is I am doing the best I can, and when my fourteen year old daughter is giving me mental health advice based on my frustration with her, I am ready to throw in the towel. I have another week of this foolishness, since Mark is traveling for a few days next week too. I know I can do it since I was a single mom for eight years before I married Mark. It is just that I like having some back up with the rebels without a cause and also with some of the household tasks. I also like having someone here to hold me and love me and then get these kids of mine to help out. It is not pleasant having to be the no fun parent all of the time.

 The upside to being here alone with my girls is that I have had more time to talk to them and laugh with them. I am enjoying them in spite of my frustrations. Soon, Mark will be home and I will be back on the parenting relay team once again. I will have my family whole. I am looking forward to sharing the challenges of two teen girls with teenitudes with Mark once again.