Love Is In the Details

Years ago, I heard a quote from Oprah that has stuck with me. She said "Love is in the details". I see that in my life. The tiniest detail can change everything. This morning it was me preparing a cup of tea for Aly and a cup of cocoa for my sugar monger Avery. It was a simple gesture, but a heartfelt mommy moment, to show the girls I love them without getting to mushy.

You see, they are leaving this morning to head up to a state University for a Thespian Competition with their theatre group from the high school. They are both singing in a group piece and then they are performing a duet together at this competition and they are very excited. Not excited enough however to allow me to come with them. When I asked this year (as I have in the past two) "Do you want Mom and Dad to come?" The immediate response from Aly was "No". They are growing up and starting to enjoy their autonomy. The fact that they can head out and do their own thing and not have the parental ball and chain is very exciting for them, and I welcome it. I will never stop asking if they want me there, because that is a detail. The fact that I am asking lets them know that I love them and want to be there if they need me.
 When Mark and I were out of town a couple of weeks ago (has it been that long?), I had cautioned Mark about calling the girls every day. I explained to him that I wanted the girls to feel independent and know that they can call if they need us, we did not need to check up on them every single day. He thought that I was being a little harsh, but my thought was that in less than two years Aly will be leaving for college and she will need to know how to make it through the day under her own steam. If we are calling everyday and constantly checking up on her we are giving her the message we do not think she can handle taking care of herself. Mark was not fully on board with this thought, and I caught him sneaking a phone call home to check on things. The best part is that when he left on his business trip on Monday morning, he told me he would not be calling me every day because he wanted me to try to make it on my own. Have I mentioned in the past that I married him for his sense of humor?

 Details are tricky. Too many details can make anything overwhelming. It has to be just the right amount of details, at just the right time. There is no perfect measurement for details, you just have to guess. No matter what though when done in the right spirit with your heart wide open details can make the moment special and memorable. I insisted on a kiss good-bye this morning. My hope is that as my girls jumped out of the car when I dropped them at school this morning, they knew that even if I was not tagging along on their trip, a piece of my heart was. It is a little detail, but in this case, I think it was just enough.