There is wrapping paper pieces and empty cartons, along with random gifts still strewn about my house. It is a good thing though. It was a good Christmas, full of laughter and some tears. We have made it through part 1 of the holidays. We have completed Christmas at home and we will venture out today to begin part 2 at Mark's Mom's house and then our annual visit to Mark's friends from college.
I would have to say that the best part of Christmas had to be the smiles on my kids faces as they opened gifts. I do not think that this year there was anything that was a disappointment to anyone. You always take that chance when you venture out to shop each year. You have ideas from your kids and you try to fulfill those, and then you might get bold and make some decisions based on the things you know about your kids. This is when you step into tricky territory. What if they do not like it, or it does not fit. You really do not want to see that disappointed look on their faces, and know that you put it there!
The balance between a bad, good or even great Christmas is very small and if you are not careful you can tip the scale with one spur of the moment, well intended idea. I remember (actually, I have never forgotten) a Christmas when I had pointed out a clothing item to my oldest daughter Ashleigh. I told her I would like to have that and to mention it to her Dad as a Christmas idea. Somehow in the translation, I ended up with the clothing, in neon green (which I think I picked out) and in an extra large size, because Ashleigh told Mark that I would want it baggy. Honestly this shirt was so big that it would have been baggy even in a medium. I unwrapped this item and just looked at it. What do you say? Thank you for the giant neon green shirt? or how about, Gosh, you shouldn't have!!
The balance is always precarious when you are kid and if just one thing is, the wrong size or color, or broken or even not what you thought it would be, you feel like your Christmas was jinxed. I have to mention once again that the year that I got a stocking full of coal, I was pretty much traumatised. I do not remember anything else about that year except how sad I was. Not to mention the fact that I had a hard time letting Santa off the hook. The Jolly Old Elf had turned into The Big Fat Grump!! Who does that to a kid? I can still picture myself reaching for my stocking and peaking inside. I even remember a smile on my Mom's face like, There! That will teach you! The only thing it taught me was...well, honestly nothing.
I guess my point with all of this is that being a mom, is never easy. You are a mind reader on top of everything else and if you slip up, you are taking a chance you will scar your kids for the rest of their lives. No pressure there! So, today I can move forward knowing that at least for this year no one was traumatised. I will work hard to keep from traumatising the girls through out the remainder of the holiday season. This will not be easy though, because deep down in the dark recesses of my mind are little fibers of my Mom that try to peak out and work their magic. I have to really fight it sometimes. Other times it just happens that I do, or say something that at the time I thought was cute or funny and I know my kids are storing it away in there brains to remember not to do when they have kids of their own. Such is the life of this perfect mom in progress. Maybe, I am not progressing at all, who really knows?
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