On the Edge of Parenting

"Why do you keep asking me the same questions all the time? Your driving me crazy." 

You are welcome to insert a hostile and indignant attitude into this dialogue. It was definitely not an easy conversation and it ended with someone stumping off and me staring with my eyes wide and my  heart pounding. I sincerely asked because the answers I have received are somewhat vague and because I tend to forget what I have asked. This happens because I have more going on in my life then just one daughters plans.

This was a brief conversation with my youngest adult daughter. As she prepares for her final year of collage, she is trying out driving ME insane by putting off as much as she can until the last minute and while she is at it she has pulled out the defiant card. Nothing is more fun than an adult child acting like your intruding in their business when they are eating and sleeping in your house and a good portion of their well being still depends on you.

Don't get me wrong, I love her to pieces. I hope and pray for her to take flight as soon as she can and if need be we will let her come back to the nest for a SHORT while. The hard part is convincing her that my plan is not to drive her crazy but to get her life up and running, (however I can) from the sidelines. Obviously the work is hers to do, but when I ask a question about something and I'm given an answer I expect to see some actual movement forward. 

I hate to be the one to bring bad news, but the world is going to ask a lot of questions. Many of the questions asked are going to come with the expectation that you will follow through on the answer you give. There will be professors, bosses, loved ones and possibly children and others that depend on you in your life time. Questions upon questions asked over and over and some of them from a person who's brain is crammed with lots of other things that pertain to themselves and others. Please do not flatter yourself and think that my goal is to focus only on you in some weird plan to "drive you crazy". Honestly, if I really wanted to drive you crazy, I could and you would not even know it was happening. Not to worry though, I'm not that kind of person.

All I really want is to foster success in a loving being who tends to postpone the inevitable, everything, good and bad in most anything that comes up. It's a character trait that I do not understand. I personally do not like things hanging over my head so watching that giant load hanging over my daughter is difficult at best. I understand that its her life and her way of doing things, but the stress it throws into the mix is like walking on a path where you know there are land mines, but you just don't know when or where they will blow. GAH!

I am trying to go with the flow and be flexible but being the detail oriented, a place for everything, everything in its place kind of person makes it tough to flow sometimes. I am also very aware that my daughter's traits are curiously much like her father's. He happens to be on the receiving end of a lot of questions as well because procrastinating is a gift that just keeps on giving in my world. So if anyone is trying to drive someone crazy I would have to point at the "let us put everything off until she blows" group of procrastinators that I love. For the record I will continue asking questions AND driving you crazy as long as you continue to drive me crazy. I think that's fair.

*New phase of life and a new focus. Seems like my new learning curve is now parenting adults...

Sent from my iPad