Life, when you are NOT looking

Someone I love has Breast Cancer. They have told me that they are feeling confident, but frightened. They have also told me all the facts and information that they know about their form of Cancer. Although they were concrete, stoic and composed, I still broke down when I hung up the phone. I have been sitting inside my brain with this information since last night

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Life just keeps happening when you are not looking. It always makes me question the choices that we make to be healthy and safe. Eating right by purchasing organic vegetables and products, exercising and wearing our safety belt are just a few things we think of to keep ourselves safe, yet things sneak in, Cancer, a drunk driver, a heart attack and life changes…immediately.

I am sad, I am not a cynical person but knowing someone that I love will be fighting a mighty foe, makes sad. I am also questioning all the efforts we take to protect ourselves when anything can sneak up and change the course you thought you were on. I will not be foolish enough to claim it is not fair, but I will say that it sucks! Not a nice word, I know, but it does.

This life we have, the ONE life we have, is fragile and if you are like me you forget that. I get caught up in my everyday foolishness with my daughter’s messy room or the dog that keeps getting into the trash and my sense of what is important turns in the wrong direction. 

Moments like I experienced last night immediately correct my life’s compass. Nothing can prepare you for the moment you realize that your compass is out of whack, that moment when someone you love or even you are faced with something bigger than you can wrap your mind around. These are the moments when you soften the tone of your voice, hold someone a little longer and remind yourself that if something does not get done its okay.

I really do not think it possible to ever get this lesson. I feel all these feelings now, but soon my minds compass will turn and I will forget again. I will jump back into life and begin insisting on clean rooms and following all the rules. I’ll rush here and there and get mad about something ridiculous and I will continue these habits until once again, life happens when I’m not looking and I will stop in my tracks, shake my head and remember that I have been here before.

Someone I love has Breast Cancer and life has swept them up into a new direction. I will be here. I will pray, I will believe and I will remember what is really important. These are things I can do. Life, dirty, messy wonderful life keeps happening, chocked full of stuff that is awesome and stuff that sucks and we all just have to make our way through all the life that happens when we are not looking.