Married With Children

I am not sure when this happened, but I am completely and utterly STUPID! When my girls have talked to me lately (in fairness it is only the teenage branch of the children’s section) they end their comments with the word MOM. Example: “I did that already, MOM” or “I KNOW MOM”. Each time they speak to me it is like they are overwhelmed with frustration at how ridiculous I am.

I have had enough! I have drawn a line in the motherhood sand and I am reclaiming my right to be talked to like I know what the heck I am talking about. Driving around with my youngest as she practices her driving skills I hear the tone in her voice each time I correct her that says “stop blabbering about my driving, what the heck do you know”, I recently informed her that my (EEK!) 30 odd years of driving have given me the right to speak and act like I know a lot. Shockingly even more than a 16 year old…go figure.

I am also well aware of relationships, job troubles and bosses. I have been divorced, a single mother for a time, a working mother and a stay at home mother, let’s face it, in the current vernacular, I have “mad skills”. My point being, I am not STUPID!

Today I am married with children. I love my children and I know they love me and if I was vindictive, I would put the curse on them that my Mom had put on me… “Someday I hope you have a child that puts their knees in your furniture just like you do!” or “someday I hope your child talks to you that way”. Why did she do that? That was completely unnecessary, mothering is hard enough and she already knew that! Anyway, I am forgoing the curse and using good old fashioned stale mating, you talk to me like I am stupid and you are on your own…if I am so stupid, how can I possibly help them with anything else? Yes, I know this is passive aggressive behavior, but if I am going to skip the curse, what else have I got?

Full disclosure requires me to tell you that I most probably will not stale mate, I will try and then I will give in and step back into mothering mode, because that is who I am. I am a “MOM”. Thinking about it I am glad this is me, I am disappointed in the bad days with my kids, but it’s like golf one good drive or putt and I am ready to keep playing the game. The upside is that after a certain age they will finally understand that I was not the stupid one at all. Okay, maybe not, because I am still ticked at my “MOM” for that whole curse thing.

All in all I like being married with children. It is not an easy job, but every job has its dirty dishes and at this point if being thought stupid by my kids is my biggest worry, I guess I have it made. The fact that my girls think I am annoying with my advice and input (another word for nagging) is something that I will just turn the other cheek about for now. I am my Mother’s daughter and mess with me too much and I just might have a curse for you! So, keep your “MOM’S” to yourself and we will all get along just fine.