Gratefulness

I tend to look on the bright side. Not always but most of the time. I especially like to take something that is happening and turn it over and over in my mind and look at it in a variety of ways. Finding the bright side is not always easy but I do try.

Recently Mark (my husband) has been working hard at his new (since March) job. It has not been an easy transition since the new company has the work ethic that if the employee is happy than they are not working hard enough. This has made Mark stressed because he is working constantly, even after office hours on projects that he wants to succeed and he feels like he is basically treading water. He does not feel respected or appreciated and he basically feels beaten down.

This is not fun for Pollyanna (me), who wants to make him feel better, but is so angry with this company she cannot see straight. In desperation this morning, I asked if this was the entire company’s philosophy or just the manager he works for and Mark just said “I don’t know” in the voice of a broken man. All I could do was apologize for even bringing it up, I am sure he is even more frustrated and aggravated than I am and my disdain does not help matters at all.

This is a busy weekend for us. Mark’s family is all coming in to town for his parent’s 50^th wedding anniversary party and with Mark practically shackled to his job it makes it tough for him to visit with his family or even sleep when he is on the phone until 2:00 AM. I found myself this morning snarping away about all of this as I walked with my friend Pam (poor Pam!) and realized mid snarp that we are very lucky Mark has a job at all. I had become so caught up in all the frustration that I lost sight of the hooray moment just a few short months ago when Mark got the call that he had been hired.

Today, I have decided to sing a different tune. I am going back to my Pollyanna ways and being the supporting person I know I can be. I am grateful that Mark has this job during a time when so many are not working. I need to focus on that blessing and not on the negative. For now this is our reality and complaining about it will not change anything. So in the midst of sharing the joy of his parents 50^th anniversary I will be taking a few moments to be grateful for Mark’s job. This is how it works, I get a hold of a thought and turn it all around and realize I was wrong all along.