You Are Opening When?

I admit it! I am one of the wacko's that heads out early on the day after Thanksgiving to shop. My girlfriend and I have been heading out together for about 13 years. I have only missed one year, and we made up for it a couple weeks after by spending the day out together. I like to think of the day as my version of hunting, but rather than bagging a deer or some other creature, I bag Christmas gifts.

We have been up and out the door by 6AM and even 5AM, but this year the anti has been upped by the retail chains when the decision was made to open stores at midnight. I called my friend last night as I perused the newspaper to chat about what we were going to do. Our early shopping was always about getting the great deals, but who the heck wants to cook all day, visit with family and then with no real sleep under your belt hit the stores?

Let's think about this, people that are out there with us on Black Friday are not always the most patient, add to that tiredness and you have a recipe for disaster. My girlfriend and I have always headed out with the motto "Pack your patience", but this year we might have to pack our patience and happy faces to smile at all the tired cranky people we will most likely run into.

Our plan is to still head out at our normal time, probably around 6AM. This will mean that by the time we start shopping, all the door busters will be gone and the shelves may be bear, but we do not care. We are going for the thrill of the hunt and the opportunity to spend some time together. Just because the retailers are trying to ruin Thanksgiving does not mean we have to jump on board, I mean really I am sure that they will have shoppers at midnight, but why? I urge those that think they need to head out that early to wait. Maybe if we stage a protest and all head out at a decent time (well, decent for the day after Thanksgiving anyway) maybe next year we could get these retailers to take it down a notch. At this rate in just a few short years, instead of the night before Thanksgiving being the biggest bar night of the year, it will become the biggest shopping night of the year.

I know I sound like a curmudgeon, and perhaps the fact that I do not respond well to change is showing, but seriously, all I can say to this new idea the retail accountants thought up is "You are opening when? WHY?"

Resting Face

To some today's topic may seem crazy, but I am trying to change my resting face. I have realized that when I am going about my daily life, I wear a frown. I have over the years developed a solid down turn in my mouth area that I am sure is now permanent, but I am determined to fight back with an all out "Turn that frown upside down campaign".

I started yesterday as I was grocery shopping. I forced the sides of my mouth up as I made my way from aisle to aisle. The best part is that people thought I was smiling at them and they started smiling back. It was like a little reward. Now not only am I working on restructuring my resting face, I am helping other people do the same thing.

I have tried this whole thing before, but I often give up and settle back into the frown groove, but this time I am intent on redefining my facial dents. I no longer want to catch myself with that grumpy look. In time perhaps it will be as easy to smile as it is frown.

Be honest now as you started to read this, did you catch yourself thinking about your resting face? Did you check to see if you were frowning? Consider this, if we all make the effort to turn our frowns upside down we might actually be the beginning of a full on happiness campaign. I do caution you though, you must be very careful to turn that frown into a sincere smirk or grin, or you run the risk of scaring people.

All you need to do is lift the corners of your mouth ever so slightly. Once you do that you will note that your eyes seem to open larger and they also become brighter. My hope is that in no time at all the deep crevices I have created by giving little attention to my resting face will suddenly become lighter. This whole idea started out as a vain attempt to fight back the aging process and now the "Turn your frown upside down" campaign could very possibly change someone's day one smile at a time. Who knew that your resting face could be so important?

Peacefulness

In front of me this morning is a warm roaring fire. The fall crisp air is slowly turning to the chill of winter and I awoke this morning to thin slivers of ice on our little pond and my breath forming steam as I enjoyed my morning walk. The fire is a fabulous reward and it is also calming. Gazing into the fire light seems to center me and bring me to a peaceful place.

 Peacefulness is an allusive feeling these days as I balance all of my emotions about family wills, job searches, college searches and of course planning for Thanksgiving. Staring down the fire seems to help me align my thoughts and make them more manageable. The truth is that having peace of mind is really the best way to handle it all anyway. Everything that is in my head is really in God's hands and I remember that a couple of days ago I was yammering on about releasing my worries. This fire seems to be saying to me "Be at peace, you are OK, you are loved and you are where you are meant to be.

 Last night as my girls and I sat by the fire, we were talking about the winter that is gradually approaching and I found myself excited for the possibility of the snow days to come. I love those days when the weather turns and the snow falls and the schools close. There is nowhere to go, nowhere to be and the snow brings with it a calm hush as if to say "Shhhhh relax be at peace. Those are the days when the big blankets come out and you find yourself calmly reading a forgotten book or enjoying a cup of coffee in front of a warm fire.

 This morning is a wonderful taste of the moments that are ahead, the calm, the peace and the warmth. You have probably figured out by now that I like winter. I sincerely do not mind the snow or the cold. I actually enjoy all the seasons for one reason or another. Today as I watch the sun working hard to peak through the clouds and the wind tearing away the last of the leaves on the trees, I am finding the ending of fall and the beginning of winter is bringing peace to my soul. Who knew that the peacefulness I have been searching for was right here in my fireplace all the time?

All In

You are ready to get started, you have pulled out your recipe book or your DIY project items and you are preparing to begin when you realize that you are short a key item. It could be eggs or butter for the recipe, it could be the right paint, saw or drill for your DIY project, but you are stopped, dead in your tracks and sent back to the start in your own personal game of SORRY. Now what? Do you give up? What is it worth to you to see the plan through?

That is life; you set out with a plan, your running full steam ahead and BAM something happens that derails you. The trick is will you remain derailed, or will you jump up and get back on track. It is easy with something like cooking or a project. You make a quick trip to the store, or you change your plan a little, but what happens when you are derailed in life?

I have never been one to shrink away from adversity. The only way out of hard times is through them and I have made it through some very long tunnels of hard times in my life so far. I have always felt that if I do not see the challenge and face it down now, it will come back. Maybe not the same challenge, but a different one and quite possibly a more difficult one. The universe puts life out there and what we do with it is all up to us. The trick is when the challenge begins are you going "all in" or are you going to sit on the sidelines and wait for it to pass?

Hard times do not get easier by wishing them away, it takes work. I remember when I was a single Mom years ago. When money was tight, I would freak out and not open my bills. I would have this stack of bills and not have any idea what I was going to do about them, but instead of opening them sorting them and making a plan, I would sit and stare at that stack of bills and worry. It finally hit me one day that the not knowing what was in the envelope was more stressful than just facing it down and opening the darn thing. I decided at that point that I needed some help and I found a non-profit financial counselor that helped me take back control of my financial life.

It is never easy to go "all in", sometimes you have to hit the bottom hard before you realize you are sidelined. The trick is making a move, start by shutting off the voices in your head that are not telling you the truth about who you are. Next you want to find some support, this support can be a friend or a counselor, the important part is to have someone that is encouraging you and reminding you that you are "all in" and you can do whatever it is you think you cannot.

Whatever project or mountain you must tackle today, remember to look at the project in bite size pieces. Believe in who you are and what you can do and just go all in. If running out for eggs is the worst obstacle you face, you know you can handle it, if your obstacle or challenge is bigger just know that with some time going "all in" will move you out of this hard time. The only good way to end the game of SORRY is for someone to win and by being "all in" that someone can be you.

Got Nothing…

There are just days when there really is nothing in me to pour out unto this page. Today is one of those days. I am tired and I am hoping to snap out of it, but for now, it is disturbing my train of thought. Each day when I sit down to write I try to cleanse my brain of whatever topic is hanging around, today that topic does not exist. Essentially, I have nothing to give. I will pull it together to be more on my game for tomorrow, but right now I am so tired that all I can do is sit and stare at my computer. Not exactly a recipe for a great blog post.

Releasing Control

There are times in life when you begin to think that one more thing cannot possibly happen, and then it does. You just stand there whether it is all good or all bad and wonder, "Why me". Right now it seems that I am in the eye of a stress storm and I have had to make a decision to stare it down. I am releasing my control and tossing my care in the air like a hand full of helium balloons.

 I know what you are thinking, when haven't you been in the middle of a stress storm? This time is different, I feel like I am on the cusp of finally making my way through and I intend to make sure that I am hands off and letting the control belong to the universe and not to me. The harder I hang onto the need to steer through the storm, the more stressed I feel. The only way out is through it and I cannot do this alone.

 As I sit here writing this morning I am aware of a feeling of comfort and confidence. I know that I have a strong faith and believe that when handing your concerns over they can only lift up if we let go. I have let go. I am no longer making decisions in my head. All of the decisions that I am making I am allowing my heart to guide me. This has given me a feeling of relief that I have not felt in some time.

 I know what is right and as long as I live with my best intentions and an open heart my balloons of stress will rise. I no longer want the responsibility of being in charge of the twists and turns and how and when they occur. I am very happy to be taking my hands off the strings and letting each care float with intention in the direction it is meant to go.

Lost Light

There is no way of knowing how it happened. Life was moving along without stopping and I was dragging along with it. Suddenly, about a week ago it hit me. I had lost track of my love for my children. Now don't get me wrong I love my children very much, but somewhere between the diapers and sniffing sweet baby skin and the grown up and teen years, I stopped generating the same energy of excitement about being with my children, spending time with them and being excited to see them when they walked in the door. I had lost touch with that excitement when I got caught up in every day.

 My children are still as excited at new things and fascinated with little things. They still learn new things everyday and they still smell good (not baby skin good, but good) thanks to their own efforts. I somehow lost sight of the joy they bring to me, when I started focusing on the troubles and work in life and less on the joy. Now, thanks to one simple comment I heard Poet Maya Angelou speak, my heart is turned. She said "Do your eyes light up when your children enter the room?" I remembered that light, I had that light when all my children were little, but when they started to grow and they also started to be less compliant and more verbal, I know my light dimmed.

 I lost touch of the joy and the energy that light in my eyes gave my children. They knew without my speaking any words that my love for them burned bright. As the years have worn on I think that they have had some doubt. I know just last week, Aly and I got into a verbal tousle and she shared that "You never talk to me anymore Mom, You don't care about me!" That hit me hard, Aly felt like I did not love her or care about her. The out of touch Mom in me was hurt by the comment. Had I not been tossing money everywhere since her senior year started? How about all the campus visits and the encouragement I had given her about college? What about (and this is big) all the days I bandaged her bottom after her surgery? How could she think I did not care? But that is when it hit me, it was not about what I had done for her, it was because my light was to dim for her to see. She could not see that I treasured her because my light was almost out.

 This last week I launched an all out torch campaign. I want all my children to know that they bring me joy and that no matter how old they are they still light up my life. The only way my girls will know that, is if they see the light in my eyes. That same light I had when I held them for the first time, the same light that brought excitement and joy when they walked for the first time, and even the light the shined bright when teachers or friends would notice something special about my children. The light is there, it's not lost I just needed to shine it up so that my children could see it better.